I KNOW. I’m incessantly talking about creating a wardrobe that works for you; a functional capsule wardrobe built on the basic, classic pieces that will stand the test of time and break the cycle of spending more and more while still feeling like you have nothing to wear.
Yes it sounds great in theory and while we want it to look and function differently, actually starting the process can be a little daunting. Lets be honest, changing our approach to our wardrobe and our associated spending habits is a huge mindset to overcome and so for some of you when you hear me say ‘capsule wardrobe’, all you hear is blah blah blah!
The reality of working with people who invite me into this (sacred) space is that it is very much an “up close and personal’ experience and a little resistance often hovers; that sense of “excuse me, but you are invading my personal space”.
I get it. And I respect it.
The depth of how personal it actually is and the emotional attachment and meaning we have given to pieces in our wardrobes is often surprising to people and honestly, it never ceases to amaze me either. (I cannot lie; there are pieces in my wardrobe still that serve no purpose other than looking pretty and taking up space. Not many… but they are there – along with the emotional attachment!)
Walking through our wardrobes can be a maze of emotion and surprisingly confronting.
I have always approached wardrobe edits with a step-by-step process and the first question I ask before we even move into the space, is how do you want to feel when you get dressed? We write it down and we keep the response handy because reminders are always necessary.
Once we have moved through the cycle of “I wore this when I came home from hospital with my first baby”, “My partner gave me this when my cat ran away”, “And this was my Aunties, Mothers, Sisters, Daughters jumper that was handed down and I feel guilty for getting rid of it”, the second question I ask is how do you feel when you wear it? (Accompanied with a gentle reminder of how they said they wanted to feel…and there is often a huge disconnect). It’s one of the questions that guides my “this needs to go or this needs to stay component of the process.
The ingenious Marie Kondo, puts it another way…. Does this spark joy? #classickondo. We’ve all heard it; we may have even laughed a little despite the truth that sits behind this sweet, beautiful, clever humans advice.
Recently I heard Marie add the following question to the decision making process…. “Do you want to take this into the future with you”?
Boom! Great Question!!!!!!!
Perhaps my second question is flawed, because like fragrance, we attach memories to our clothing and memories are powerful. You know how it goes…”well it used to make me feel good, and maybe when I loose weight, or maybe when I feel better about myself, or maybe when” ….you get the point.
These responses are all based on the past and women in particular are masters of comparison. Not just when it comes to other women, but with our past selves; when we were 21 and our hips still hadn’t popped; or pre baby, or pre marriage break up, or pre this and pre that…. And so the cycle continues.
Why not approach your wardrobe with a little Marie Kondo wisdom?
It’s the beginning of a new year and the timing couldn’t be more perfect.
Who have you decided you will be in 2019? Who are you becoming? How do you want to feel? What do you want to take with you into your future?
Resist the past as your starting point. If you begin with the future in mind, I’m pretty sure that with a little more joy, you will be able to say farewell to your Aunties, Mothers, Sisters, Daughter’s jumper….
Let the process begin!